..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
