he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
