3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
