Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize