Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize