I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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