i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Oh god it's open bar.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
