Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
