i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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