I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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