i think my tv is drunk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize