Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
