He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
