Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
