he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize