That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
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His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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