Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
