i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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