omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
