i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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