we have pet lesbian snakes
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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