I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
