piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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