I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
