I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
How's work?
Spinning.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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