I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
