Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
