It's Friday. Sex?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
