Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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