...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
