Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize