I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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