so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just google imaged poop.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
