I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
