you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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