Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
