Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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