I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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