hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
