I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Randomize
