I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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