I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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