I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
