I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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