Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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