Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Drunk is not a location!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
