OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
