girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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