She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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