Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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