hotel room ftw
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
