Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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