His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
