and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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