My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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