ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
