How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
