Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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