Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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