so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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