let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
