tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize