But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can text with my tongue
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
