Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
