Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
