Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
