he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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