I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
