Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
