I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I have post one night stand depression
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
